basketballer

PL ...... woosshhh!

2004-10-23T00:39:00.000-07:00

*yawn... now very late le... 12:20 am... still not sleeping... watching tv... juz now went to amk to eat... with my family... then come back... gotta talk bout yesterday ... quite a fun day...

21 Oct ...
wah ... this few days keep on going to opposite sch to eat chicken drumstick with fried rice... haha... later turn fat again ... scared get bird flu... haha... choy ! wont la... then after that i and rui peng went to p.l to train ... then the coach see me... keep asking me bout coach tan ... haha... then training ... keep calling me to run ... haha... tired seh ... today was my 1st day !! 1st time then do so much things liao ... at 1st is run 20 rounds basketball court ... -_-" then chase the ball to lay up ... haha... then ... play match ... i was placed in starter 5 !! wow hooo !! haha... scored quite alot... the coach put me in as shooting guard cum point guard... then we won ... haha... after that play with the upper sec team ... kena trashed like siao ... but not 0 la... haha... at least i scored some ... hehehe... then after that , dismissed... then coach say call me come along on monday and saturday also ... to train with the sec 2s... means i have to go on monday , tuesday , thursday and saturday !!! gotta faint sia... haha... but for the sake of bball... i'll do it ! haha... tomorrow have to go liao ... haha...

22 Oct ...
today so damn shiok !!! 9:20am dismissed !!! wow !!! so early lor... then i never eat chicken drumstick rice... later really get bird flu ... hahaha... then we went to our secret place to play... hahaha.... then have to go back to school for volleyball... so tiring lor... then we play against the sec 2s ... we lost !!! 0_0 ... only after the sec 2 girls came !!! zheng yan ... that flirt... who acted in front of the girls... and do all sort of craps... to attract the girls' attention ... fucker !! make us do push-ups... and then crap what leg pain or all other lame excuses... then i asked coach to change to adrian... although his leg was injured... and we won !!! this proved that we lost because of that flirt... that disgusting flirt... hope he isnt in our team... waste all our efforts... the guy who made us train for nothing ... lame ... yawn ... have to bear with it... because he is the only setter... ( kinda like point guard ) haiz... how i hope adrian will be fine ... so we will win the mini-cup this time !!! and we are getting our jerseys soon ... wowww !! number 11... again like bball ... haha...

ok ... this time ... there will not be anything bout relationship... because ... i dont wanna say anything bout this... because everything is so obvious ... and i am confused bout something ... haha... i think only kellie knows bout it ... hope she didnt let anything out of her mouth ... haha... i shall juz live as what i am now... because ... she has her happiness... and that wasnt me that she wanted... so ... i juz live by myself !! and now , i have bball and vball !!! but dont know if my life is counted as completed... because i dont know if vball can replace her ... but ... maybe ... someone can replace her ... i dont know when that person will appear... haha... i shall juz forget bout everything... gotta stop here le... bye bye !!! go and sleep le la... cant believe that i used around 20 mins to write all this craps that no one will read ... hahahahaha....

11 - P.L ......... wooooshhhhhh !!!!

yoyoyo

2004-10-13T06:44:00.000-07:00

well... today not bad la... went to sch... 8:35am can go home liao ... hahaha... then went to eat ... then play with rp, cy and ying wei... haha... trash them 1 on 1... but lose them when triple threat or fatal 4 way... all gang up on me ... haha... play till 1+pm... then went home ... use com ... tomorrow is going to be a fun day.. nothing to do... but we have pe !!! wow-ho !!!

well ... i am gotta say this ... i will be waiting... and will always be there for u... since now , u took the path ... that is being with him ... and u had went very far away ... but i will be waiting at the beginning ... if u ever reached a dead end , do not stay there ... do turn back ... and walk back to the beginning ... i will be there... waiting for u ... and we will take another path... together ... and i will bring u to a place ... that has no dead end ... and have lots of freedom in it ...

11 - i hope i will be giving a chance...

finally

2004-10-09T19:21:00.000-07:00

wah ... so long never use com ... finally back... well... this week is filled with exams ... so sian ... i think i am doing quite well la... not really good ... have to wait till result come out lor... still have to study for chinese ... so sian ... teacher also never teach properly... how to pass with flying colours ? nvm la... dont rely on others ... if not in the end , the one gets hurt all over is urself...

start with today ... wake up ... then buy foods , then watch tv ... sian la... went to heartland mall ... walk walk walk ... then come back ... come online ... tomorrow then study for chinese ...

well... i will never become the same old person like i did... because everything that belonged to me isnt mine anymore ... and will never be mine ... this few days ... i have been thinking of it ... and i have realised something and i have wrote a poem bout me ... and it represents what i want to say and how i felt ...

You said you love me
And want to be with me
I said i love u
And i will wait for u

I hope we will be
As we were meant to be
But you went to him
And left me here to see

Your voice melts my heart
Your smile makes me faint
But seeing you and him
Make me felt in pain

You told me
You will be there for me
I once believed
But not twice
Lies come out from your eyes
Fly right under my eyes

My heart was filled with hopes
That were caught with your ropes
But once the ropes break
All the hopes were fake

it doesnt matter anymore

2004-09-24T22:42:00.000-07:00

it doesnt matters anymore ... i dont want anything now ... only friends and bball... i have made up my mind ... if my father want me to go taiwan , i will go ... if i stay here , i will transfer school ... to a school that can improve my basketball skills... i rather have nothing than have a broken heart... when it shattered into pieces... no one clear up the mess... i have to ... and i dont know how to... so ... i will juz leave it aside... and never bother bout it... because it doesnt matters anymore ... now there will be nothing on this blog about love or whatsoever... it will juz be a normal blog that talks bout how i spend my life... i'll juz be myself ... a simple sec 1 guy ... and i will stay as far away as i could from love ... because it will bring me nothing but a broken heart... well ... friends are great ... gotta say this... jeryl, u are really a great friend ... thanx... for everything u did ...

bball is my best friend...

[[ shattered heart ]] -- i will clear up the mess...

yawn

2004-09-22T19:06:00.000-07:00

i think i am gotta close this blog ... i dont want anyone to be bothered or disturbed with my feelings... because i am self-centered... i think i am gotta be a normal guy... no blog for me... i am gotta be a guy who is studying in secondary ... everyday study and study ...

i am self-centered... dont bother bout me ... i think i am gotta keep everything to myself from now onwards... no more interfering others life... i am making their life miserable... i should juz be myself ... independent ... never gotta share anything ... juz do everything by myself... dont bother bout me le... and continue ur life...

haiz

2004-09-21T22:52:00.000-07:00

*yawn* nowadays so sian... dont feel like updating ... but decided to update today... because i am having a mixed up feeling ba... who cares... juz having a weird feeling ... is it gotta happen again? i hope so ... and i will never let go this time... haiz... my hope is always dashed with words written by u... nvm ... i'll wait for u...

today was not a good day... it was so damn boring in class... feeling bored in class everyday ... thinking of u every night ... hey... this is not today's topic ... change back... studying ... studying ... then tomorrow have history test... i didnt bring back the books !! ahhh ... nvm ... forget it... i am gotta fail anyway ... still having history remedial... after sch tomorrow ... sian...

i ... really dont know what to say or do ... but ... u know what i mean ... u know what i want ... now i am having this weird mixed-up feeling ... i dont like this feeling ... but today was a memory... i try to do it... but i dont have the courage... hope i'll do it next time... but may not have a next time... who knows... fine ... gotta stop here... gotta leave this feeling with me... hope u will help me ... remove it from me... and give me the feeling i had last time...

i'll wait for u ... i miz u ...

2004-09-07T00:41:00.000-07:00

what the fuck is my life becoming... i dont know ... my family sux ... my life sux ... maybe i should go to taiwan ... start my life anew... maybe my basketball will improve at there ... and my life will be better there ... stay here ... my life sux totally... my mother is so fucked up ... stupid mother ... dont understand any of my siblings ... and me ... dont know what she want ... i now wished that i can go taiwan end of this year ba ... so i not going to be sad from now on ... i am going to be cheerful and happy everyday ... no matter what happened... nothing is worth my stay now ... i had decided ... unless now is my mother dont allow ... although i will miss my friends... i cant tahan my mother anymore ... i wanna go taiwan le... sorry if u miss me, but dont think anyone will miss la... who cares... i gotta be cheerful now ... i now wanna be a normal guy ... wait for my future ... =)

dont know what to do..

2004-09-05T01:09:00.000-07:00

i dont know what to do now... u are avoiding me ... u dont reply me ... why are u doing all this ? u said u will always be there for me ... but where are u ? all were lies ... but i wont lie to u now ... i will always be there for u ... are u trying to make me feel juz like how u felt last time ... kell say u are avoiding him ... but its seems like u are avoiding me... i have nothing to say ... but to face it ... i want to plant the flowers along the road of my life ... but the biggest and beautiful flower is u ...

i miss u...

u really changed...

2004-09-05T00:32:00.000-07:00

i dont know what to do now ... i am feeling really hurted... the one who said she will be there for me too ... said this to me : i wont botha....lyk im nort gonna bother anione nemoa? ... i am really hurted... i dont know how am i going to live on ... she dont care bout me le... she dont give a damn ... she is having her problem ... i wanted to share with her ... i dont wish to see her stressed... i want to see her happy ... always ... with her smile on her cute face... her blog is referring to 7166 ... perhaps ... she is letting it to ruin her life ... but i am not gotta stay aside anymore ... i will try my best to save her out ... she is different towards me now ... but i will try to help her ... on her way back to herself... the real princess/cinderella...

i love u ...

my happy ending

2004-09-04T23:12:00.000-07:00

juz here to post a nice song ... the part of the song that i liked...
My Happy Ending

It's nice to know you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

tired...

2004-09-04T19:52:00.000-07:00

juz came back after playing basketball ... went to bradell height and play with rui peng ... then later go to springbloom to play... then came home ... haven eat dinner ... before that was open house ... went to help mrs lum ... i keep saying its for the merit point ... but the reason is to see u ... i miss u ... but u are cold towards me ... u dont even bother to look at me ... talk to me ... then i had to pretend to look at others ... nvm ... i will wait ... for my miracle ... i will grab the chance when i have it next time ... yea ... next time ... i was walking at the stall... no one came ... haha ... no business... but chia how played scrabble with mr lim ... didnt know that mr lim was so friendly ... and funny... haha ... in the end , mr lim won ... by 11 points ... after that i played with oliver ... played for a while then he dont want to play liao... cause i winning by around 40 points ... haha... thats bout all ... all i want to say is i hope that u will be more like urself towards me ... like the bbq night ... i enjoyed myself ... with the real u ...

i miss u...

adding something meaningful which made my attitude towards life better... from cy's blog ...

from when u were born u r to wok on a road lerh....the road doesnt lead u to success...oso dun lead u to failure...tt road leads u to ur grave...but the important thing is how u wok along this road...whether u plant it wib flowers or make it into mud paths...it all depends on u...

feeling worse everyday...

2004-09-04T00:14:00.000-07:00

i am always pretending ... i am always wearing the mask with a smile ... maybe sorta hypocrite... but its to myself ... not others ... i juz dont know how i am feeling now ... i really dont like feeling like this ... with my t**** falling down my cheeks ... but at least she changed back ... she is herself now ... perhaps the prince had taken off her mask ... i am juz not clever enough to teach myself what to do ... perhaps juz continue wearing the mask ... dont bother bout me ... i am a hypocrite ...

mixed feeling

2004-09-04T00:02:00.000-07:00

feeling good for her ... she changed back to herself ... she went back to the prince ... and may not return ... but i dont regret ... its natural for a princess to choose the prince instead of a frog ... because this is reality ... not fairy tale ... i juz want her to be herself ... and happy ...

We just don't appreciate those people who really care for us, until they leave us, until we lose them, then we regret... It's better to tell someone how much you love them rather than to not tell them and lose them without telling them, You'll regret. Love is when we fight till the very last minute just to show and tell someone how much we love them.

i love u...

tired...

2004-09-03T20:58:00.000-07:00

sorry ... i fell asleep yesterday at around 8+pm ... too tired ... haha... juz eaten ... came back from braddell height ... went there ... play play ... quite fun ... haha ... before that got volleyball training ... not really fun ... not really bad ... soso ... she was abit cold to me ? i at least i talked to her ... i have nothing to say ... but i will wait ... for my miracle ... hope it will come true ... tomorrow got bball training ... after that i going to help mrs lum ... for open house ... hope to see some zps pri 6 ppl ... i shall juz wait ... and i hope u are feeling better ...

dont frown... u never know that i am falling in love with ur smile ...

staring at the mirror...it is not myself that i see but a mask covering the real me...

i need u...

so boring

2004-09-01T17:36:00.000-07:00

juz came back after sending jin kai off ... then we took mrt ... we were very funny ... talking craps all along ... didnt know that going out with them is so fun and crappy ... especially kellie... lots of craps from her ... haha ... after that we seperated ... ying wei , kellie and i went to p.s . she went to meet jerald ... then go and watch movie ... then we pei her go and buy tickets... chatting on the way ... crapping ... haha ... then after that we left ... saw kellie and him ... stand there so romantic ... haha ... then i saw mr liew !! my pri 6 form teacher ... haha ... after i and ying wei took mrt and went home ... what did u tell kellie to tell me ? i forgotten le... but it doesnt matter anyway ... cause u wont be with me ... u think that i will hurt u again ... u think that i will avoid u again ... i have nothing to say ... i have no rights to do anything ... kellie tell me even though u love him ... but i shall do my best ... thanx kellie... nice chatting with u ... or maybe crapping ... haha ... quite enjoyable ... but last sat is like a dream ... i hope it will come true again ... maybe not 1 second ... but forever ... i juz do my best ...

a normal guy who wants to be with the girl he loves... i shall juz wait ...

i miss u ...

i am feeling lonely ...

2004-09-01T12:16:00.000-07:00

i am so lonely ... no one talks to me ... no one listen to me ... and my stupid mother also ... she is so retarded ... she wants to send me to taiwan ... and want me to leave there ... i dont know whether u want me to go ... but i dont think staying here will help u ... u juz cant be bothered with me ... haiz ... i dont wanna go ... i wanna stay here with u ... u said sorry to me , but what can that do ? all i think is u , all i need is u , all i want is u ... but u dont bother ... everything i tell u ... i didnt hide anything from u ... but u seems like ur hiding alot of things from me ... what can i do ? haiz ... nowadays i am always lonely ... without u , i am juz a lonely guy with nothing ... but all u care is 7166 ... i cant do anything ... i miss u ... no one care bout my feeling ... but i keep thinking of how she feels ... why muz i be treated in this way ? cant i juz be a normal guy ? why muz i pretend to be strong when my heart is actually very weak ? i dont even know what i will become .. i think u wont even care bout whether i am going back to taiwan ... because i am nothing compared to him ... i need friends and u now ... friends is to guide me along my whole life ... and u is to keep me alive for my lifetime ... without friends , my future is filled with darkness ... without u , i dont have future ...

i need u ...

feeling worse everyday...

2004-08-31T22:48:00.000-07:00

today went to sch... teachers day... soso ... after that she went to yang zheng , i cant do anything ... but to go to my pri sch ... then after that actually wanted to go to p.s ... but i decided to go bishan ... she went to p.s ... with him ... haiz ... everyday u dont talk to me ... she thinks that i am ignoring her ... and she thinks that i gotta hurt her again ... but it isnt true ... i love u ... i wont hurt u ... i feel worse than u when u are hurt ... i dont want u to know bout my blog ... cause i think u will avoid me when u see all this ... but i cant be with u .. i love u ... he love u ... but u decided to be with him ... what can i do ? but to stay aside ...wish u all the best ... but in my heart , i want u ... i need u ... i love u ... thinking of u everyday ... i really miss the bbq thing ... it was like a dream ... i hope it will happen again ... i promise u , if u are hurt , i will always be there ... no matter what ... i love u ... i hope that u would understand how i feel ... i feel real bad whenever i think of the past ... i am a bastard ... i did not cherish u ... but i need u now ... u said u will always be there for me when i need u ... where are u ??

Ni Zai Na Li ????
i found out that i dont really have any true friends ... maybe pei ying is the only one who cheers me up and make me laugh when i am down ... thanx alot pei ying ... maybe u juz cant be bothered with me ... but once again , i want to say , i love u ... i really enjoy the time we spent during the last sat ... am i being unreasonable for wanting the girl i love ? i juz want to be a normal guy ... who can be with the girl he love ...

i love u ...

i need u ...

2004-08-30T22:15:00.000-07:00

i am feeling miserable this few days ... but i pretended to be happy ... and cheerful ... everyone thinks that i am always happy... laughing , joking , fooling around ... but indeed no one really know how i feels ... i am feeling terrible ... when i see u and him ... but i cant do anything ... but juz keep quiet and pretend to be cheerful ... i really dont know what to do ... will someone guide me through the darkness ? i am feeling hopeless ... u loved him so much ... i loved u so much ... u can be with him ... but i cant be with u ... why am i treated in this way ? i really dont know what to do ... i dont think anyone know whats happening to me ... but i feel that i had changed... since the day i found out that u are in loved with him ... i always tell u not to worry ... tell u i wont mind ... tell u i will stay aside , and watch u fly with him ... but that is not what i mean in my heart ... i want to fly with u ... i want to be with u ... i dont want u to get hurt ... so i wished to be with u ... because i know i wont hurt u anymore ... because hurting u is hurting me more ... i really dont know what to do ... i had thought of committing sucide ... but that does not help ... i hope u can help me ... but i dont think so ... u are only thinking of him ... during sat night , after the bbq thing ... we were walking to the interchange... i held ur hand ... for that precious 1 second ... and my heart is filled with warmth and happiness ... since that moment , i know that the girl i want to be with is u ... u , nobody else but U . but the only thing i can do is to see u living happily with him ... i juz want to be a normal guy ... who can be with the girl he love ... now , i can even give up basketball for u ... all i want is u ... haiz ... i really regret last time when i didnt cherish u ... i regreted... u are more important than anything in my life now ... but i dont think i will be given the chance to cherish u again ... i am stupid ... i hate myself last time when i had everything , but i did not cherish ... yet in the end , i lost everything ... basketball , love , and u ... the reason i am living is u ... nothing else but U.

i miss u ...

i need u ...

i love u ...